I woke today at 3:30 AM EST with words flowing from my soul. I had a revelation: as much as I am here to teach my daughter; she is also here to teach me.

From my very first breath, I have been suffocated by expectations and responsibilities. I was born a grown-up, and my inner child has been fighting to play my entire life. I am sure we all know the scene. A young child about to go down the biggest slide they have ever seen. It looks terrifying, yet they see the joy on the faces of those who have gone before them. They sit at the edge, gazing down, caught between horror and wonder. The chance at extreme joy. With the support of friends or parents cheering them on, they take that first plunge. Maybe they even go down with someone. The exhilaration. But they are not ready to go alone just yet. They need a few more tries with support. Then, finally, they let go and find themselves enjoying the ride alone. Full of passion, adventure, curiosity, freedom, and confidence.

This is what children teach us.

I have been fighting my conditioning my whole life, and only now do I fully realize it. Healing is not complete until we can see the entire picture. My generation was raised by people who came from harder times, and they were raised by people who had even harder times before them. As the years go on and we advance in technology and understanding of our natures, life becomes easier. But we fear that ease. We judge it. We judge this generation just as the previous generations judged us. Instead of fearing it, we should celebrate it. We should be happy that the new generations and the ones to come will have an easier life.

I think we, as adults, need to take a big step back and reflect on how we treat the young. The mental illness and sadness we see? That is on us. We are meant to guide them, not mold them into our image. They are here to teach us how to live in these new times and we are here to guide them to know themselves and learn all we have learned. But it is their choice of what they take on their journeys. Because that journey is theirs, not ours.

I have had people in my life who have cheered me on, but because I did not love myself, I could never take the leap to fully live the way I wanted. I did not have the confidence to voice what I truly desired for my life. But those days are long gone. Today, I feel renewed, especially in my perspective and energy with my kids. I am but a drop in their ocean of experiences. Their life is not mine and they need to live it for them.

They will get hurt, and I will be here, supporting and cheering them on. But I will also take the hand of my own inner little girl so she can be free, so she can be a child, so she can live a life full of whimsy and adventure.

I am learning so much from my confident and passionate Ruby. I scream the death cry of my old life and I step into my new one, fully and open-heartedly.